Faced with a significant amount of negative press surrounding his administration’s seeming inability to select proper gifts for foreign dignitaries, President Obama has issued a mandate to his staff to find the perfect gift to offer HRH Queen Elizabeth II when they meet in London later this month.

The President instructed White House Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, to provide him with a list of “appropriate gifts, of historical meaning” for HRH and her children. In addition, the gifts should hold significant personal value to both the President, and First Lady.

Our sources in the Obama White House were able to obtain a copy of the short list of possible gifts that will be presented to Mr. Obama pending his final decision:

  • A vase containing the ashes of Mrs. O’Leary’s cow.
  • The First Lady’s personal copy of “Diana, Queen of Hearts.”
  • Season tickets to the Cubs.
  • The white flag hoisted by Lord Cornwallis over Yorktown.
  • Boston.

Mrs. Obama will be personally picking the gifts for the Royal children, rumored to include a make over, and an English bulldog puppy named “Camila.”

The British press is reporting that the President’s gift was delivered to The Queen this last Friday by MI5.

The sealed envelope is rumored to contain a copy of President Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate, with the original having been stored in an undisclosed location by HRH.